All self-improvement books say visualize success. When it comes to girls this strategy is detrimental. The biggest problem guys have is the approach. They don't do enough of them to get good. They pause and hesitate and wuss out. Getting some to do one approach while sober takes more energy than the actual sex. Instead, visualize failure, embarrassment and pain. Imagine everyone will laugh and write about you for marriage or casual dating purposes.

When you visualize the negative, you accept rejection and face your fears. Only by embracing suffering can you tame fear. You go through desensitization, which separates weekend warriors from guys who can do this every day. About thirty seconds into the approach, your heart rate will calm. The hardest part is done. Now you'll make that conversation last and make her laugh. The more I visualize failure, the more successful I am because I approach more and I'm relaxed for marriage or dating

More relaxed means I'm accepting of whatever bad comes my way, especially in tough situations with large audiences like day game. The worst-case scenario, which happens only a handful of times, is really not that bad. It will end as quickly as it begun and life will continue and no one will care. By mentally preparing for the worst you eliminate anxiety that prevents action. Rejection becomes predictable and manageable rather than shocking.

Visualizing failure gives you a competitive advantage because you approach more girls. More approaches equals more experience and practice. While others imagine perfect outcomes that never happen, you're in the field getting rejected and learning. Consistent action over time builds real competence from actual success, not imagined success. For marriage or casual dating goals, embracing failure and taking massive action beats positive visualization